Paris Hilton, You Cunt

In this world there are two types of people: Paris Hilton and everyone else. If you haven’t heard by now, Paris Hilton was secretly recorded during a taxi cab ride home by the taxi driver. It was New York Fashion Week so that means the heiress was watching her brand crumble er go leading her to drink heavily and verbally gay bash us gays during a taxi cab ride home with an openly gay model.

The taxi driver, who apparently is a genius, recorded the whole conversation between Paris Hilton and her friend. The gay friend was showing Paris Hilton the best mobile app in the world, Grindr. “Say I log into Grindr, someone that’s on Grindr can be in that building and it tells you all the locations of where they are and you can be like, ‘Yo, you wanna fuck?’ and he might be on like, the sixth floor.”

Um, I really think that Paris Hilton’s gay friend and I had a serious hook up session because I remember getting a Grindr message that said “Yo, you wanna fuck?” and thinking to myself, “This might be the first fag that ever said ‘Yo’!” And her friend was a huge disappointment in bed, by the way, and by disappointment I mean he clearly didn’t own a douching kit. Gays, you know how that story goes…

After showing Ms. Hilton the Grindr app, she replied saying, “Ewww! Gay guys are the horniest people in the world… They’re disgusting. Dude, most of them probably have AIDS… I would be so scared if I were a gay guy. You’ll like, die of AIDS.”

Excuse me a minute as I laugh hysterically at this hypocritical statement.

Okay, I’m back.

Seriously, this bitch is so stupid. Hey Paris, remember that little thing that helped you boost your mundane career? What was it called, again? Oh yeah…

After all those years I watched “The Simple Life” with you and that train-wreck Nicole, and all those times I played “Stars Are Blind”, this is the thanks I get as your gay fan? You bitch.

Paris Hilton is probably the biggest idiot ever because she capitalized her so-called celebrity status by bankrolling her sex tape that showed her fucking Rick Soloman’s tiny penis. And, now she has the audacity to claim that us gays are “disgusting” and we’ll “die of AIDS”? I’m playing Pink’s “Stupid Girls” song right now in my S&M Room in honor of Paris.

After the whole recording exploded all over the internet world, she later decided to come clean and apologize to the gay community via GLAAD saying how “Gay people are the strongest people she knows.” First, we’re the “horniest people” and now we’re the “strongest”? Girlfriend has more issues than Amanda Bynes.

All in all, I just think the bitch apologized cause she got caught. Let’s be honest, the gay community is responsible for like every dollar that bitch earns cause we made her the icon she is today. And coming from a business standpoint, it would be stupid not to apologize to the majority of your fan base. Her apology has “marketing” written all over, but you know what, we have better gay icons now. Seriously, I totally forgot about this whore until this huge scandal broke. My fag hags consist of Azealia Banks, Lady Gaga, and Kim Kardashian. Yeah, take that Paris. Kim Kardashian has taken your place in my world and in the actual world if you really think about it.

So Paris, I wish you all the best with your bankrupting brand, but call me so I can teach you how to do this much better:

There’s only one thing I agree with you when it comes to your statement – us, gays, are disgusting. Disgusting in bed. We could teach you a thing or two or ten.


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4 thoughts on “Paris Hilton, You Cunt

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