I don’t know about you gays, but I thoroughly enjoyed the Emmy’s last night. And by Emmy’s, I mean the fashion obviously. Duh.
Apart from the fact that Homeland and Modern Family took a shit ton of awards home, the fashion was so fucking good that I creamed my pants when I saw those dresses. But, I immediately cried my heart out when HBO’s Girls didn’t win a single fucking thing! Like, are you fucking kidding me?! That show is probably the epitome of my college life. I fucked, got into fights with my best friend/roommate, and I totally was a fatass. Lena Dunham totes covered my college years and how doesn’t her talented, boobless self not win a single fucking Emmy but Louis C.K.’s ginger ass won shit? Clearly, I had to vent to my drug dealer about this. All was okay when he brought over that glass pipe and angel dust.
Anyways, onto the fashion…
Who do I think the best dressed was, you ask?
Hayden Panettiere was looking all sorts of va va voom with that bodacious body and a drapery teal wrap over a beautiful gold Marchesa dress. Seriously, three snaps for you, bitch, three snaps for you.
Some other cunts that I thought werked the shit out of their Emmy gowns were…
Tiny Fey in Vivienne Westwood
And, of course, Sofia Vergara in Zuhair Murad
Overall, the Emmys was a sight for sore eyes and there was lot of color coming out of its ass. I loved it and totally dove into all those colors that were swirling around… Wait, that was just me being high.
Anyways, congratulations to all the winners and their coke dealers. I’m talking to you, Julie Bowen. Seriously, what was up with your acceptance speech and your rail-thin cocaine arms? Get. Your. Shit. Together. Honey. And I’ll have what you’re having…