Dating can be hard – especially when you’re gay. When you’re young, you usually don’t see examples of what a good date is on in the media or you sometimes never hear about how dates go from a gay standpoint. What you do see is a man and a woman and how their gender roles function on a date. The man picks up the woman, he pulls the chair for her, and then woman leaves the man teased with a goodnight kiss on their first date. Typical, vanilla heterosexual first date, right?
Where were all the examples of a date when you’re gay? The do’s and don’ts of how to be? Who picks up who? Where is that in the media? No fucking where!
That’s why I’m here, you cunts. You all can breathe and read on how to make that first date explosive which shoots fireworks through your date’s penis and ignites a flame in their soul. Rest assured, bitches, cause here’s “Gay Dating 101”.
I remember going on my first date. It was very traditional in the sense we went to dinner at 7 on the dot and I was so fucking nervous. Would he like me? Would he find me attractive? What outfit should I wear? All these questions were racing through my mind. I, just like most gays, was confused on who the hell should pay for dinner – we’re both guys! At the end of dinner, we both kind of had awkward stares when the bill came. But, after a while of “No, I’ll pay…”, I ended up paying. It was so tricky after all, we both offered to pay, but I was much more stern on paying which he was totally fine with. Our roles ended up meshing together and we hit it off really well! Obviously, I fucked that guy outside the restaurant in the parking lot. In a nutshell, I realized “gay dating” was exactly the same as “straight dating”. Then it all clicked and I wasn’t nervous or afraid to go on another date.
Only there after my first date, did everything become kind of clear when it came to dating as a gay man. I felt it was easy and natural – that we didn’t have to submit to such gender roles society enforces on us when it comes to relationships.
When it comes to dating as a gay man, especially on a first date, it’s important to be natural. Your instincts and innate characteristics will take charge and fall into place accordingly with your date – only, if the date is a match. Obviously, you’ll know a bad date because you won’t mesh. Dating is universal when it comes to roles. You, just like any other gay man, lesbian or straight man or woman, will have the same problems when it comes to someone who complements you. Gender roles exist, but seem to not matter when you are finding your significant other because some women are dominant while some men are submissive. Dating is the same no matter what your sexual orientation is.
Also when it comes to paying for the bill, I say take charge – literally. Charge the bill to your card or at least offer to pay. I say anyone who offers to pay for my bill, whether you’re a man or woman, is immediately labeled as sweet and caring. If your date swoops in and demands that he pays, then let him, unless you feel much more dominant than him. For me, I would insist on paying but for others, you may feel a little bit more submissive and let the guy pay. It’s all about intuition and figuring out where you fall into place. Straight people may not have the problem with who pays but I’m sure at the end of a date when it’s two straight people, the goodnight kiss is usually a question. When it comes to us gays, the kiss is always wanted. Let’s be honest, if the date is good, I’m sure more than half of us will sleep on the first date and I’m including myself.
Let me break “gay dating” down, motherfucker. Here’s the 8 tips on how to be the best date as a gay man:
1) Never talk about your ex. Talking about your ex symbolizes that you still aren’t over them. So leave that out!
2) When it comes to ordering your food, choose something that’s non-breathy and non-gassy. It’s going to save your life when you have that goodnight kiss.
3) Stick to ordering 2 drinks max when you’re on the date. You don’t want to look like Lindsay Lohan’s AA friend.
4) Don’t be afraid to talk. Talk about yourself and try to keep your accomplishments to a minimum as you may come off conceited. Talk about fun, interesting things such as funny stories that are relatable to the topic. Being funny is a great ice breaker that charms your date at the very same time.
5) Be sure to listen very well and ask questions. Essentially, be engaging and not a fucking wall. Show emotions, laugh, smile wide – all these things show how you’re engrossed in the other person.
6) Insist on paying. Either be dominant to pay, if you label yourself as a dominant type, or let the guy pay if he persists.
7) Goodnight kiss or good-morning fuck is totes up to you. If you want to leave him with a kiss then do so, but if you want to fuck then be my guest. That is totally your call. If the date was REALLY good – I would fuck. If the date was great – I’d leave him with a hot make-out session. If the date is bad – RUN!
8) Always – and I mean ALWAYS – text the guy after the date and say how great it was. That is a must because it shows how much you care which will make his heart melt. No matter what you label yourself as – dominant or submissive – a polite “Thank you for a great time tonight. I had fun and you are amazing. I would like see you again so let me know when the next time you’re free. Goodnight (insert name here), talk to you soon!” is the best way to show how classy and polite you are. Guarantee once you finish doing step 8, the next thing you’ll see is this on your bed:
These tips are definitely going to help you on your first date or on any date. So, be sure to memorize them and enforce them the next time you’re on a hot date.
So, gays, what problems have you encountered when it came to dating? Drop me a comment and we’ll discuss it!