Seriously, queers, I’m going to have another bitch fit today. I already had a fit this morning when my poodle pissed all over my new Louis Vuitton boots. I was so mad at Bette Midler that I refused to give her a gluten-free doggy treat today. She was such a bitch – literally.
Now that my shoes are ruined, another irritating thing has come back to haunt me. No, I’m not talking about graphic tees – I’m talking about the fucking Westboro Baptist Church. Seriously, these guys need to get laid by someone who is not blood-related to them. And, not only are they back, they’re back with a vengeance.
The stupid son of Fred Phelps, Jonathan Phelps, declared that he “absolutely” supported the death penalty for being gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender. REALLY? This motherfucker – literally – is supposed to be jewish on top of this. How the fuck are you jewish and baptist at the same time? Somewhere Jesus is saying, “Nah uh girlfriend…”
The Westboro Baptist Church has been notoriously-known for picketing soldier’s funerals with signs like “God Hates America” and “God Hates Fags” and all of a sudden they want credit for deeming a new capitol punishment law? Get the fuck out of here!
It has been reported that the Westboro Baptist Church is going to picket the late Donna Johnson, a U.S. Army Sargent, because she was a lesbian and served the country. Their philosophy behind this, you ask? Let’s ask the president of Dumbass, Inc. himself, Jonathan Phelps: “Military funerals have become pagan orgies of idolatrous blasphemy, where they pray to dunghill gods of Sodom & play taps to a fallen fool.”
I rest my case.
Oh, yeah, Happy National Coming Out Day, fruits!