Did any of you fags watch the new Halloween episode to Pretty Little Liars, last night? I did. And nothing goes better with Pretty Little Liars than a blow job from your Pretty Little Lying married neighbor. So, if you missed last nights episode, I’m here to cover everything that happened. Well, not everything cause I did cum at one point during my BJ/PLL screening and I tend to usually forget shit when I climax.
Anyways, here’s the skinny. Don’t read further if you don’t want to know the spoilers.
So, while I was getting head, I decided to turn on my TV cause it was that time again – PLL’s Halloween episode. The episode starts off with crazy bitch Mona singing some creep ass song while painting a paper fucking mache head in the dark like it’s all normal and shit. The lyrics the cunt sings are, “If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise, if you go down in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise, for everything that there ever was, will gather there for certain because today’s the day the teddybears have their picnic.” At first I thought this was a code that her and Hannah used but then realized “IYGDITWTYSOABSIYGDITWTYBGIDFETTEWWGTFCBTTDTTHTP” is not a word. Then she turns around in her chair and talks to that black hoodie bitch where Mona hands A what seems to be four nails and three pills which either means A is going to a gay club or that A is going to crucify some bitch while they’re high as shit. The scene ends and we see my four girls, Aria, Spencer, Hannah, and Emily walking along Rosewood’s suburban neighborhood. Hannah’s legs looked fucking emaciated and skinny which was so beautiful. Then they walk up to a house where a coffin it’s labeled “Alison DeLaurentis”. Then they say it’s Clifford Yerdley’s house who jumps out of the coffin while Emily’s dyke ass nears it. I love jerks and totally would’ve fucked him in that coffin.
The next scene is Spencer with Garrett and all I remember was saying, “Use less teeth you stupid bitch!” to my neighbor and that’s when Toby’s sexy ass walks in. Then Tobz asks Spencer all these questions like, “Why was he here?” and blah blah blah. Sort of sounded like my ex. Then they hug and Toby’s eyes become all evil and sexy. Then we catch up with Hannah blue-balling the fuck out of Caleb while they’re making out in some dentist’s office storage room. Seriously, why doesn’t she fuck him every time they’re alone. I think Emily isn’t the only lesbian on the show. Then we catch up with Aria and her grandpa – I mean boyfriend – Ezra where he tells Aria that he won’t be able to join in the Halloween festivities where they’re going on a Ghost Train Ride. Weird. When I was in high school, I got trashed and puked in my neighbor’s yard and not went to some gathering to go to some pussy-ass train.
When the night falls, the girls all get together to celebrate Gay Christmas. They’re all dressed as some Hollywood slut. Hannah was Marilyn Monroe, Aria was Dita Von Teese, Spencer was Vampire “Thinking Of You” Katy Perry, and Emily was a Slutty Cosmic Lana Del Rey. Then we see Noel Kahn make out with blind cunt Jenna after they tell Aria and Hannah that they’re taking a break from throwing their yearly Halloween party, which was hella awkward. After their makeout session, we see Hannah and Aria look away and spot that ghoulish mask (see picture below). “It’s just a costume, it doesn’t mean anything”, Aria says as she’s secretly pissing her pants because that mask looked like baby vampire. Then Noel pranks every one when he pretended to be choking on a peanut or something which the first homoerotic scene between Toby and Noel. Toby get’s behind Noel and performs the Heimlich or anal rape in my mind. Seriously, I almost came while my neighbor was still giving me head. Yeah, my neighbor has great stamina. Then Spencer’s stalker ass spots Jason and eye fucks the shit out of him cutting to us seeing what Hannah’s slutty mother is doing with her pastor boyfriend. Mind you, Hannah’s mom is dressed as a slutty nurse while handing out candy to kids.
Then the next 20 minutes was an Adam Lambert concert where we learned that Hannah can’t dance for shit. Seriously, there was so much Adam Lambert that I thought I switched to an American Idol rerun. Can someone say “marketing”?
Later, we see Spencer finally find Jason. That’s where I told my neighbor to slow it down while I was picturing me fucking Jason because I have a feeling that Jason’s a good, slow fuck in bed.
Cut to Adam Lambert still performing. Yes, still…
Then, we catch up with Hannah’s slut mom in her kitchen when some crazy little girl bitch dressed as a watered-down Marie Antoinette because she can’t find her mom. The girl says some creepy shit so Hannah’s mom is all like, “Fuck this shit, call your mom, you psycho…”
We then catch Adam Lambert trying to have a conversation with Aria. And by try, I mean REALLY try. Homo cannot act. When Adam asks Aria what her name was, the train becomes loud and he can’t hear her. So Aria writes her name along the condensation on the window train. Then some harlequin comes over to Aria’s drink and roofies it like some straight guy at a bar. Then we meet up with Paige eating out Emily’s pussy while there’s some shadow in the background watching them. Probably was some creepy guy who loves to watch lesbo porn. No big deal. Shit happens. Then, all of a sudden Spencer has managed to go the deserted part of the train (smart) where she gets attacked by that ghoulish masked person who happens to be Garrett.
Then Garrett talks to Spencer about what happened the night Alison disappeared. FLASHBACK: Apparently, Garrett and Jenna leave the room where Ian and Melissa were talking to go the back of the DeLaurentis’s house where they run into Alison. Then Jenna and Alison have the gayest fight ever where Garrett fake hits Alison with a field hockey stick. Jenna’s blind ass hears screams and a thud and then asks Garrett, “Is she dead” where clearly Alison isn’t. Then the flashback ends and that’s where Garrett proceeds to tell Spencer that he didn’t kill Alison but Jenna thinks he did. Then Spencer is all like, “Are you fucking kidding me with that piece of shit story?” Garrett tells her, “No bitch, there’s more…” FLASHBACK: Garrett apparently goes back to Alison’s “dead” body only to find her talking to Byron, Aria’s dad, and says to him, “You know what I’m capable of…” which sounds to me as if they’re in an S&M relationship. Hot. Flashback ends. Spencer goes to get Aria so that Garrett can say this to Aria. Spencer leaves Garrett like an idiot. While she’s searching for Aria with Hannah, they just find her purse on an empty seat. They both look up and see the window. Remember when Aria wrote her name on the condensation where she was to Ms. Lambert? Well now the “r”, “i”, and second “a” are swiped away on the window leaving just “A”. Spencer’s cell phone beeps and A texted saying, “Guess who’s not going to make it to the end of the line? -A” Then we see Aria with duct tape around her mouth in what seems to be a dark room while she’s panicking.
After, Spencer tells Emily and Hannah what Garrett said to her after they search everywhere for Aria. We then see that Aria’s in a crate. I laughed. Seriously, a fucking crate. LOL. Then we see the masked Caleb dancing with Hannah where Hannah looks over toward the punch table and sees Caleb drinking. She looks as the masked person and takes off the mask to only reveal a mask underneath that. But, for some reason the stupid blonde bitch doesn’t remove that mask and somehow the masked person runs away. I laughed even harder.
Now, we’re back to see what Hannah’s slut mom is up to. The bitch goes to the kitchen only to find that little blonde girl missing. Then she goes upstairs and hear’s something only to find the cunty little girl. Then the raspy bitch tells Hannah’s mom about her stupid sister and how they fight. Then Hannah’s mom touches the girl’s hand and sees that she’s ice cold. Then Hannah’s mom goes to get Ted, the pastor, to bring him up to the girl where they come to an empty bedroom with no girl. Typical.
Then, we see Spencer walking then getting attacked by the harlequin. Then the world’s biggest dyke, Paige, comes to rescue Spencer by fighting off the masked person like the tough lesbian she is, but somehow she gets thrown off. When the masked person runs away, Paige looks over to Spencer and shows that she found the masked person’s acrylic nail. I threw up a little. Who in this day and age wears acrylic anything? Yuck. Then Aria is in her crate (LOL) then turns over and sees a dead body which looks a lot like Garrett. Then Paige, Emily, Spencer, and Hannah go looking for Aria – yet again – but this time they find Aria’s necklace. Then it cuts to Aria struggling to get out of the crate but it sounds like she’s getting fucked by two black guys. Seriously, her moaning and whimpering was like an XTube pop-up ad. Then the girls find Aria’s and when they get her out of the crate, they all see Garrett’s dead body.
After, we cut back to Hannah’s slut nurse mom trying to explain to the pastor that she thinks that little cunty girl was a ghost. Then, they both take a sip out of their wine at the same time like weirdos. We then catch up with the girls and now the police have arrived and everyone is alright. Then Noel gets mad at the girls because they brought their drama to the train and that’s when Toby steps up to Noel’s face. Then the second homoerotic scene between Toby and Noel happens. As they’re about to kiss, Toby decides to push Noel into where the ice bin is and when the bin breaks, a funeral body bag is revealed. Could it be Alison’s missing body in that body bag? Finally, the episode ends with Mona in her psycho room and she’s smiling while she’s in bed. The camera pans lower and shows underneath her bed where there’s a mask – the same mask that Hannah tries to pull off of who she thought was Caleb back on the train. Shocker? Not really. And that’s where the episode ends.
Since the episode wasn’t all that, here’s something you can have after reading this long post:
Oh yeah, I ended up cumming from my neighbor sucking me off only when the episode ended cause I immediately remembered Toby’s and Noel’s sex scene. Seriously, that episode had the worst cliffhanger.
What did you think of the episode? Comment me and let me know.