Prayers For Lindsay

When I was younger, I used to avoid getting into fights. I wish it was because I was a peaceful hippie who wanted love and not war, but that wasn’t the case. I was small and afraid of hurting my face because of my future Ralph Lauren modeling career. Only when I began college and started my great drinking habits (Seriously, I can drink three bottles of merlot and not feel a thing) did I realize the importance of self-defense. I remember when this bitchy queen got in my face one night at my favorite gay bar only because his boyfriend was trying to talk to me. Then that twat threw his drink in my face and that was when the hair pins started flying. Let’s just say I gave a new connotation to the term “gay bashing”.

After hearing the news of my beloved Lindsay Lohan getting into a bar brawl this morning at 4 am, my blood started to boil. Clearly, I have been in her shoes (Not literally, but so would love to try on her Giuseppe Zanotti’s) and know what bullshit this harlet of a starlet must’ve gone through.

Apparently, Lindsay was at a bar celebrating. Whether it was celebrating the premiere of her shitastic “Liz & Dick” Lifetime movie or whether it was celebrating that Lifetime offered her a job, the girl was white girl wasted. Even though there are no sourced determining that factor of Lindsay’s state of mind, but let’s all be real – she was drunk. The fight happened after a girl, who was in the next table over, was told by Lindsay to give her some space. I guess that bitch was trying to take sips out of Lindsay’s glass and that’s when Lindsay broke loose. So, of course, Lindsay threw a punch and got arrested. Now the ginger bitch has violated her probation – officially.

So, everyone, let’s all say a prayer for Lindsay Lohan. She needs help and another career path.

Smooches.

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