Category Archives: Hollywood Homo

What I’m Obsessed With: Amanda Bynes

What’s the first thing you think of when someone says “Amanda Bynes”? Some may say “crazy”, some may say “train wreck”, or some people, like me, would say “BFF”. Of course, everyone is entitled to their own opinion and some might say that she needs help. In my opinion, she doesn’t need help, she needs me. Obviously, I wish she were a little bit more stable than she is right now cause I read somewhere that her credit card got declined at a salon, but other than that, she seems like a good time. We all have an Amanda Bynes in our group of friends, and if you don’t know who that is, then look in the mirror cause it’s most likely you.

Amanda Bynes has all the good making in being my BFF:

She makes me laugh.

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She does drugs.

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She’s a whore.

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And she makes me look like I have it all together. Watch:

Amanda, if you’re reading this, let’s go to rehab together.

Smooches.

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What Would Ryan Lochte Do… To My Body?

Ryan Lochte is the epitome of every nocturnal emission to every gay prepubescent boy and menopausal woman. His eyes are to die for, his smile melts your heart, and his abs set your loins on fire. With that said, what other reason would I need to tune in to view the series premiere of his own show on E! called “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” last night? And let me tell you something, the show should be renamed to “What I Would Do To Ryan Lochte”.

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The series premiere of the show ended up reminding me of my ex: all over the place, full of stupid shit, yet I’m still aroused. The show was confusing because the first half was showing him partying and then the second half we get introduced to his family. Shouldn’t it be the opposite way? Then the episode didn’t seem to have anything to hone in on. Maybe because it was the first episode or maybe because Ryan Lochte is just ornamental and not functional. Ryan Lochte’s pitch for this show was definitely his abs because the show never fell short on showing us the beautifully, chiseled olympian body that he possesses. I definitely masturbated more than three times during the show. And maybe a fourth time when I masturbated to his 22-year-old twink of a brother fucking the shit out of me in his tuxedo shirt, but I’m not confirming anything just yet. 

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The only moments in the series premiere that made me so attracted to Ryan Lochte were his ab workouts after a night out of intense partying and the scene where he cried when talking about how much his family meant to him during the time he won his first medal. Seriously, nothing could have topped that moment. Well, maybe one thing and that’s Ryan’s bulge in the picture below.

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Anyways, the show seemed lackluster and I probably won’t watch it again unless it’s to touch myself on those days when I feel Grindr isn’t working out for me. Which means never.

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Smooches.

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What I’m Obsessed With: Jax Taylor

You know how it felt when you stumbled upon Christian Louboutin men’s loafers for the first time? That moment when your heart melted and you knew it was love at first sight? That’s exactly how I felt when I first saw Jax on Bravo’s Vanderpump Rules. I watched every single episode and always thought that Jax was one hot piece of ass in every episode, even when he had his shirt on. Upon watching the reunion episode last week, did I notice what a great guy he really was. Let’s ignore the fact he cheated on Stassi, hooked up with Laura Leigh, and lied about everything, he still kept one thing sacred in a relationship that I cherish the most: Being sexy.

Jax Taylor is a model turned bartender, now at Sur, that has modeled in various different fashion campaigns. When he first started out in the modeling industry, he and Channing Tatum were roommates. Did you get a boner? Yeah, so did I. Can you imagine how the morning rush in that apartment was like? While one was showering, the other was at the sink brushing his teeth. Maybe they even helped each other get dressed and had all-night fuck sessions when they were in between girlfriends. One can only dream. And later masturbate to that dream.

Anyways, I can’t wait for the return of Vanderpump Rules and its second season on Bravo. Now, can someone help me out with my raging boner I have?

Smooches.

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Lena Dunham: Best Hunty In A Comedy Series

If there isn’t one thing I’m more obsessed about than manscaping, it’s motherfucking Lena Dunham. Lena is probably the epitome of every gay man out there – a hipster bitch who is overly compulsive about losing weight. One of my friends actually knows Lena and went to Oberlin with her (true story). One time she went to her house and got so high that they filmed this dinky little film called Tiny Furniture. When my friend learned about how Lena took all the credit for the film, my friend got pissed. I, on the other hand, applauded Lena because that’s what I would’ve done. I would’ve seized the opportunity of a lifetime and made a hit movie. That’s what all adventurous women do. Cue the hi-hat.

"Girls" creator and actress Lena Dunham poses with the award "Girls" won for Best Televison Series, Comedy or Musical at the 70th annual Golden Globe Awards in Beverly Hills

Like every gay and closeted man out there, I watched the Golden Globes this past Sunday night (P.S. You know who was on my best dressed list? Nicole “I-Was-Once-An-Anorexic-Pill-Popping-Shrew-But-Now-I’m-A-Mature-Upstanding-Citizen-Of-Society-Because-I’m-A-Mother” Richie. Sis was looking on point!). From the homos doing the set design to the in-the-closet lead male actors to Jodie Foster and Richard Gere, the Globes was THE gay place to be. I totally fell in love with Jodie Foster much like how she fell in love with Home Depot the minute she scissored a woman. In all seriousness, she delivered that poignant and beautiful speech with such poise and eloquence. Jodie, shopping at Birkenstock is a must. My treat!

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Anyways, back to Lena Dunham. I literally was giving her a standing ovation when she won for Best Actress in a Comedy Series and when Girls won for Best Comedy Series. That show has given me so much life that I want to thank her by signing her up for Weight Watchers. She is a smart and beautiful woman who is also a HUGE ally for the LGBT community. Lena also has rallied for same-sex marriage legalization, appeared in an Obama campaign, and also has a sister who is an out and proud lesbian.

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Lena is publicly dating Fun.’s hot as fuck guitarist Jack Antonoff and the two are wildly in love. Jack, much like Lena, is also known for his rallying in the gay rights movement by appearing in the NOH8 campaign. Even though they may be in love, the two are not getting married until one major thing happens. Lena said backstage at the Golden Globes: “I don’t want to get married until all gay people can get married.” Three snaps for you, hunty! So happy to have an elegant, influential, and passionate straight ally like yourself, and Jack, to help us fight for gay rights everywhere. Lena, you’re our new fag hag. Now, let’s be gym buddies and start a juice cleanse. What I’m trying to say is put down that donut. Also, hated the season premiere of Girls on Sunday. Love you!

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Smooches.

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Ke$ha Debuts “C’Mon” Music Video – Watch It Here!

It’s a scientific known fact that every gay out there likes at least one Ke$ha song. And even if you say you don’t, I know you do because you can’t escape the irresistible force that is this glitter-pop train wreck. Ke$ha’s latest album, Warrior, includes many hits including one of my all-time favorite Ke$ha party jams – “C’Mon”. Check out the music video below!

The video starts out with Courtney Stodden – I mean Ke$ha – Naomi-ing into her job all late as fuck (Trust me, I’ve done the same thing) with her boss, Ri¢hard (How clever), being all up her ass and harassing her. For some reason, I also saw “420” somewhere written but then again I’m high as fuck. Then some old man, who looks like the same old man from Grindr who incessantly messages me everyday at 2:43 a.m., is demanding for some coffee while being a total vagina about it.

Courtney – errr Ke$ha – has had enough with her job and the bullshit so she quits and walks out. She is then sitting on the bench outside when some Back To The Future looking car comes, which is driven by a guy in a cat suit, to rescue her from her mayhem. Then, it’s a glitter party that so references to drugs and her psychedelic sense of style. That’s it.

The End.

Even though one of the lyrics from the song is “I don’t wanna go to sleep, I wanna stay up all night“, I most definitely fell asleep during this music video because it was so unoriginal. Or it could be because I took one too many bong hits. Either way – FAIL!

That Ke$ha has some serious “creativity”. Like, c’mon Ke$ha, stop ripping off your other music video “Your Love Is My Drug” by just changing the hues and contrasts to produce a new music video. I see you, girl. Great song, horrible music video.

What do you cunts think?

Smooches.

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Oscars 2013 Nominations: My Everything

Fuck the Superbowl. This is real competition. The complete list of the 2013 Academy Award Nominees has officially been released and I’m as happy as a fat queen during all-you-can-eat Sunday brunch. Between Les Miserables, Lincoln, and even Zero Dark Thirty, I don’t know which film I’m supporting. And you must pick a side otherwise you’re a bandwagon fuck. Also, I imagine Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackson getting into a hot shirtless straight man brawl over their nomination. But, seriously, that has to be the gayest fight  since Azealia Banks and Perez Hilton’s Twitter war.

Here’s the complete list of nominees a.k.a. Lincoln owns:

Best Motion Picture

Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo

Achievement in Directing

David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master

Best Animated Feature Film

Frankenweenie
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
ParaNorman
Brave

Original Screenplay

Flight, John Gatins
Zero Dark Thirty, Mark Boal
Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino
Amour, Michael Haneke
Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola

Adapted Screenplay

Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin
Argo, Chris Terrio
Lincoln, Tony Kushner
Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell
Life of Pi, David Magee

Best Foreign-Language Film

Amour (Austria)
No (Chile)
War Witch (Canada)
A Royal Affair (Den)
Kontiki (Norway)

Original Score

Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli
Argo, Alexandre Desplat
Life of Pi, Mychael Danna
Lincoln, John Williams
Skyfall, Thomas Newman

Original Song

“Before My Time,” J. Ralph; Chasing Ice
“Pi’s Lullaby,” Mychael Danna & Bombay Jayashri; Life of Pi
“Suddenly,” Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boulil; Les Misérables
“Everybody Needs a Best Friend,” Walter Murphy & Seth McFarlane; Ted
“Skyfall,” Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth; Skyfall

Achievement in Production Direction

Anna Karenina
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln

Achievement in Cinematography

Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey
Django Unchained, Robert Richardson
Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda
Lincoln, Janusz Kaminski
Skyfall, Roger Deakins

Achievement in Costume Design

Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables, Paco Delgado
Lincoln, Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood

Best Documentary Feature

5 Broken Cameras
The Gatekeepers
How to Survive a Plague
The Invisible War
Searching for a Sugar Man

Best Documentary Short Subject

Inocente
Kings Point
Mondays at Racine
Open Heart
Redemption

Achievement in Film Editing

Argo
Life of Pi
Lincoln,
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Achievement in Makeup & Hairstyling

Hitchcock
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables

Best Animated Short Film

Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head Over Heels
Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare”
Paperman

Best Live-Action Short Film

Asad
Buzkashi Boys
Curfew
Death of a Shadow
Henry

Achievement in Sound Editing

Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty

Achievement in Sound Mixing

Argo
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Skyfall

Achievement in Visual Effects

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Life of Pi
Marvel’s The Avengers
Prometheus
Snow White and the Huntsman

The 2013 Oscars| 85th Academy Awards will air Sunday, February 24.

Smooches.

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Welcome To The Gayborhood, Matt Dallas!

There’s is nothing that makes me smile from ear to ear than someone coming out of the closet. Well, there’s that one thing but I talk too much about threesomes. Anyways, Matt Dallas, or has-been Kyle XY star, has finally come out of the closet and he is still one hot piece of alien ass.

Dallas came out via Twitter on Sunday and also announced his engagement to his musician fiance Blue Hamilton. What a fucking douche of name, right? I am super thrilled that he finally come out because everyone know how hard it can be. Plus, his coming out has put him in the spotlight after about 7 years.

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This really shows off how hot his fiance and his beautiful dog are. I mean that’s the first time I’ve seen two “hot dogs” in between a man’s legs. Dallas is one lucky dude. Woof woof, bitch!

Smooches.

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Glitter-Fuck With Ke$ha’s “Warrior” Album! Full Listen Here!

I’m in tears. Sorry, let me rephrase that. I’m in tear$$$$$$$$$$$! Not only does my ex have an ugly as shit boyfriend now, but my main slut bitch Ke$ha has released her new album, “Warrior”, and it’s like drowning in a whirlpool of glitter that transfers you to a world full of snare drums, whiskey, and orgies. Sounds like my last trip on acid, actually. Listen to the full album here!

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Her new album is filled with reminiscent 1980’s hair band sounds layered upon hard-hitting dance synth pop music. It’s like Poison and Lynyrd Skynyrd mixed with Uffie and Grimes. This sound is not totally unexpected from Ke$ha (She’s a huge fan of rock, country, and dance), but it’s definitely a new sound that she has put on a record. From features with Iggy Pop to tracks produced by Benny Blanco and Dr. Luke, this album is sure a partier’s dream! Although the album doesn’t live up to her debut album, “Animal”, with every song being a hit, the album will sure get you dancing and twerking like a go-go boy. Feeling like partying and getting trashed? Play “C’Mon”. Feeling like chilling and smoking weed? Play “Wonderland”. Feeling like unleashing your inner strength and tearing off your clothes? The self-titled track, “Warrior”, will sure get your freak on. Twerk, bitches, twerk!

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My must-listen-to songs are: “Warrior”, “C’Mon”, “Die Young”, “Supernatural”, “Wonderland”, “All That Matters (The Beautiful Life), “Out Alive”, and my all-time favorite song off this album – “Gold Trans Am”. That song, which is featured only on the deluxe version, will definitely “make you want to have sex in your car”.

Here’s the track list for Ke$ha’s “Warrior (Deluxe Version)”:

1. Warrior
2. Die Young
3. C’Mon
4. Thinking of You
5. Crazy Kids
6. Wherever You Are
7. Dirty Love (feat. Iggy Pop)
8. Wonderland
9. Only Wanna Dance With You
10. Supernatural
11. All That Matters (The Beautiful Life)
12. Love Into the Light
13. Last Goodbye
14. Gold Trans Am
15. Out Alive
16. Past Lives

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What do you think of Ke$ha’s new album, “Warrior”? Are you going to buy it? What are your favorite songs? Comment and let me know bitches!

Smooches.

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Prayers For Lindsay

When I was younger, I used to avoid getting into fights. I wish it was because I was a peaceful hippie who wanted love and not war, but that wasn’t the case. I was small and afraid of hurting my face because of my future Ralph Lauren modeling career. Only when I began college and started my great drinking habits (Seriously, I can drink three bottles of merlot and not feel a thing) did I realize the importance of self-defense. I remember when this bitchy queen got in my face one night at my favorite gay bar only because his boyfriend was trying to talk to me. Then that twat threw his drink in my face and that was when the hair pins started flying. Let’s just say I gave a new connotation to the term “gay bashing”.

After hearing the news of my beloved Lindsay Lohan getting into a bar brawl this morning at 4 am, my blood started to boil. Clearly, I have been in her shoes (Not literally, but so would love to try on her Giuseppe Zanotti’s) and know what bullshit this harlet of a starlet must’ve gone through.

Apparently, Lindsay was at a bar celebrating. Whether it was celebrating the premiere of her shitastic “Liz & Dick” Lifetime movie or whether it was celebrating that Lifetime offered her a job, the girl was white girl wasted. Even though there are no sourced determining that factor of Lindsay’s state of mind, but let’s all be real – she was drunk. The fight happened after a girl, who was in the next table over, was told by Lindsay to give her some space. I guess that bitch was trying to take sips out of Lindsay’s glass and that’s when Lindsay broke loose. So, of course, Lindsay threw a punch and got arrested. Now the ginger bitch has violated her probation – officially.

So, everyone, let’s all say a prayer for Lindsay Lohan. She needs help and another career path.

Smooches.

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Going ‘Skin Deep’ With David Summers

All of my friends know that I have a thing for black men. Well, I guess I just have a thing for just men. But, whatever…

During the time I spent in my panic room in my NYC penthouse while the whole Hurricane Sandy shit was going on, I stumbled upon a new show: Skin Deep The Series. It’s been described as a Queer As Folk meets Noah’s Arc meets Crash. That, to me, says “FANTASTIC!”. Seriously, the preview to the ground-breaking show has my mouth dropped, my dick hard, and my mind racing with all the serious drama and hot guys on the show. Check out the preview below, fags.

The show’s story circulates around three gay black men and three gay white men all who have their own story line. Although the show has not been picked up by any channels or in production yet, it is most definitely innovative, smart, and super sexy plus being one of the most highly-anticipated gay series. With over 32,000 views on YouTube, the show has already garnered an outstanding following. Luckily, for all you homos, I got to speak with the Skin Deep The Series director himself, David Summers, who told me personally everything we, as the audience, need to know about the show.

The Gayly Dose: Why the name Skin Deep? What is the significance behind the title?
David Summers: We were struggling with the right name for months, then one day I saw it written down somewhere and it just popped out at me.  The show is more about race, culture and sexuality than it is about anything else. And since elements of the show will be about how we feel about people based on skin tone or culture, I thought Skin Deep was appropriate. However, I think the show will be taking us to what is skin deep and beyond. The gay community is the only minority group that has every other minority group within it. My hopes are that people will begin to identify everyone as part of an “us” and begin to include everyone.  Because if we truly united, then nothing could stop us.

TGD: What was the inspiration behind created this series?
DS: There are lots of steps that lead to it, but let me start with the fact that I am in an inter racial relationship for 13-years here in Atlanta. And for some reason people think it’s suppose to be the most difficult thing, But actually it is the easiest thing ever,  Race has little to no conflict in our relationship.  As far as the city  is concerned, if we want to go out for the night as an example, we have to decide if we want to go to a white club or a black club. So socially, for the most part, the gay community remains separated. In addition, other things that added to the inspiration over the years as an example, there would be black guys who would come up to me and say, “you’re with a black guy so I can ask you, how do I meet a white guy”. And white guys would ask me, “how do I meet a black guy, or how do  I get some black dick?” There isn’t an actual wall that divides us, but you can feel an energy in this city which makes it feel that way.

TGD: There are 6 characters: Rod, Whit, Paul, Lawrence, Tyrone, and Greggory. I know that Rod is the boxer, Tyrone is the boy whose mom gave him a condom in a bible, but what about the rest? Who are the other guys in related to the teaser video?
DS: The teaser only shows 3 characters, If we showed all 6 of the main characters the teaser would be too long.. The other 3 main characters are Paul, middle aged white male, is a private investigator and is hired mostly by straight women who want to have their husbands followed. Greg is a middle aged Black male works for AID Atlanta, is a grant writer for the organization, published author, and works with disadvantaged youth in the black community.  And Lawrence is a late twenties black male, comes from a wealthy family who suddenly finds he is fending for himself financially for the first time in his life. Each character has supporting characters within their story.  Best thing to do is go to the website to view all the other characters at www.skindeeptheseries.com  There is also a relationship involved that I can’t talk about because it may ruin the twist to the story line.

TGD: What made you decide to make the characters remain anonymous to one another in that they lead separate lives where none of them are intertwined or related at all?
DS: Because I wanted to break the formula of most other shows and do something different. Every show you can think of has a group of friends who all call each other all the time, or have lunch, or have sex, or they are one family, or groups of families, and all their lives are connected.  I wanted to have six different universes occurring all at the same time, and sometimes around the same subject matter.  So we can see how someone from different races or cultures may experience similar situations.  It may bring a different understanding of those who we usually find the most different from us.

TGD: How do the series Queer As Folk and Noah’s Arc and the movie, Crash, have any influence in the series?
DS: What I meant is that it’s combining all these worlds together and put it in a series. For Queer As Folk and Noah’s Arc, this is only a reference regarding race. An all black cast in Noah’s Arc, an all white cast in Queer As Folk, and Crash is the race and culture aspect of the show.

TGD: I saw in the teaser that one of the guys had “Lucky Boy” tattooed on his forearm. What does this mean?
DS: It was just coincidental. It was a pre existing tattoo on his forearm but we used it because it truly was representation to us that he really felt like the lucky boy.

TGD: Which of these character do you relate to the most?
DS: I’m glad you asked that question. In some form of fashion I relate to all of them. I am a 55-year-old white guy, but because of my extensive experience working in the African American community, I did find it easy  to write for Tyrone. Also with Chuck, my husband, and his family, I was aware of some things that most white guys would not be. Lawrence has some of the same youth experiences as I did, dealing with his sexuality, but I never experienced his wealth. I feel Greg because of his work with the youth. I had a theater company for 17 years that worked with kids predominately in the African American community. Paul, being a private investigator, one of his jobs is to observe people and I need to observe people to get my story. Whit was me 20 years ago when I first felt a strong attraction to darker-featured men. Rod I would say is the least similar to me, I am not a fighter at all rather a communicator.

TGD: There is a lot of issues about race and culture in this series. Why did you choose to tackle that? Do you believe that there is an issue of race in the gay subculture?
DS: Absolutely there is an issue of race in the gay community, and especially in Atlanta. I do feel that much of the issue is also around culture and many times people don’t know how to separate the two. When you see a white person, you automatically attach to them a perception of what white culture is to you. The same for any other race. It is something we are all attached to through the eyes of those who observe us. So, if a certain culture has a negative connotation to it from someones else’s perspective, we are already judged because of that culture the minute we walk in the door. And why in a minority group such as the gay community, we hold such prejudices against each other when we should actually be learning from our own suppression and moving in the opposite direction? I could go on and on about this, but I will leave it for the show.

TGD: Will there be more racial issues concerning other races such as Hispanics, Middle-eastern, or Asian?
DS: Yes, but I can’t say exactly when. But, at some point in the first season I expect to be introducing other characters from other ethnic groups. I will remain true to the demographics here in the city as well. From what I experience, the majority of the gay population comes from the Black and White community.

TGD: When will there be more episodes?
DS: I am in negotioations with a company in Hollywood right now who will be raising money to help get this production package as good and tight as it can be and in the hands of the right people. So, once its on TV and picked up by a network, that is when you will see more episodes.  If you want to help, please go to the website www.skindeeptheseries.com and leave a comment in the comment section. The more posts I get, the better it looks to the network. Also, if you’re interested in being an investor, this is the time to do it. For more information people can contact me at archproductions1@aol.com

For more information about the series, visit www.skindeeptheseries.com and be sure to donate, bitches!

Smooches.

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