Category Archives: What’s The T?

So You Think You’re A Drag Queen?

Whether you’re a macho straight man or even a prissy girly-girl, everyone has an inner drag queen inside of them. From the way you walk, the way you talk, and even your diva ego are all aspects that every drag queen uses when they’re performing on and off stage. I believe if I were a drag queen my name would be Kitten solely because I fucking love my cat. Every month at Town Danceboutique in D.C., there’s a fabulous event filled with wigs, make-up, and attitude that puts Naomi Campbell to shame. The event is known as “So You Think You’re A Drag Queen?” and it brings all the glitterati sashaying to Town just to catch their favorite local drag queens compete to become the next big act in D.C. And your’s truly got to go backstage and get the inside scoop.

If you’re still somewhat hazy, or somewhat drunk like me, about “So You Think You’re A Drag Queen?”, my friends over at Metro Weekly have been documenting it since 2010 so watch the video above. “So You Think You’re A Drag Queen?”, hosted by Lena Lett and Shi-Queeta-Lee, is essentially an homage to the ubiquitous “RuPaul’s Drag Race” where there is a panel of guest judges (Derek Brown, Epiphany B. Lee, Tatianna, and Ba’Naka) that critique the queens and the winner is chosen by the audience. Let me just say, the turnout was mind-blowing and there even was a bachelorette party taking place. Let me tell you, nothing gets straight women going than seeing a drag queen throwing them shade. Here’s an example:

Drag Queen to bachelorette party: “Let me see your ring, honey. Oh, it’s sooooo tiny. Good for you, sweetie!”

S-H-A-D-E

IMG_4043
(Lena Lett)

IMG_4047
(Shi-Queeta-Lee and her perky nipples)

The drag queen contestants were:

Alessandra McQueen

Porcelain St Clair

Francesca Adams

Kellie Nicole Savage Black

Zendaya Thorne 

Kit Valentine

One of my favorite performances was done by Ba’Naka Deveraux, who performed “Boy Is A Bottom“. So chic.

IMG_4061
(Ba’Naka Deveraux performing “This Boy Is A Bottom” whilst getting her coins)

Honestly, I couldn’t really remember the rest of the show because I was in a text war with my drug dealer. But if could guess, there were drag queens, dresses, wigs, like maybe Tatianna from season 2 of Rupaul’s Drag Race was there…

IMG_4054

Also make-up, high heels, maybe a Dolly Parton drag queen…

IMG_4113
(Porcelain St. Clair, above, ended up winning the competition. Side note: her parents and family came out to support her. So cute.)

My all-time favorite and the drag queen I was rooting for, Alessandra McQueen, took to the stage and released her inner Sasha Fierce.

IMG_4084

After the show I got to go backstage and catch up with the hilarious and profound Lena Lett who is also an ordained minister. How fucking amazing is that?

IMG_4217
(Lena Lett with Jesus)

Since Lena is a devout catholic, we got to talk about the Pope. “I think this Pope is a breath of fresh air. He is very humble.”, Lena says, “He takes the message of the gospel personally and the integrity of the gospel personally.” When it came to her performing as a comic in the drag queen circuit, she told how she’s been performing for about 17 years and has collected about a thousand outfits over the years.

I also got the opportunity to catch up with one of the runner-up of “So You Think You’re A Drag Queen”, Francesca Adams.

IMG_4207
(Francesca Adams)

“My middle name, in boy form, is Francis, so that’s where I got Francesca. And Adams I took from a very dear friend of mine.”, she told me while I stared at her flawless eye make-up. Although Francesca performed to Richgirl’s “He Ain’t Wit Me Now (Tho)”, she does cite Beyonce as one of her musical inspirations and fashion inspirations.

Oh, yeah, and this happened.

IMG_4152
(Kellie Nicole Savage Black)

Town hosts “So You Think You’re A Drag Queen” every month so be sure to attend if you’re ever in the area. You’ll get to see things like this…

IMG_4096
(Kit Valentine)

Great cutlets, girl.

Smooches.

Advertisements
Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

I Survived Saint Patrick’s Day 2013 But My Liver Didn’t

If there isn’t any one thing that is more furious with me, it’s my liver. For this gay, Saint Patty’s Day was by all means an epic proportion of everything awesome. Which translates to “I don’t remember shit”. I know I’m posting my Saint Patty’s Day weekend adventures a day late, but you don’t understand the hangover I had yesterday. Saint Patrick’s Day, however, is supposed to be a day commemorating the spread of Christianity to Ireland and I commemorate that by fucking any hot, drunk, straight guy I see. There once was a time when I fucked a straight guy on Saint Patrick’s Day whose name was actually Patrick. Talk about being lucky.

Anyways, my celebration began on a Thursday night where I was eye-fucked and hit on by a girl. I can admit, being hit on by an attractive girl does something to me, but little did she know I was eye-fucking the blonde guy behind her. It just happened that our eyes crossed paths and before I knew it, I was dancing with her. Of course, it was my-ass-to-her-vagina type of dancing, but that didn’t slow me down. I rode her vagina till it was sore. After my friends and I left that bar, we walked right next door to the other bar. This bar was definitely slow-paced due to the fact that there was only about six people in the damn place. As I was ordering my Blue Motorcycle, I caught the eye of a hot guy sitting right next to me. Once the bartender handed me my drink, I heard him speak.

“Hey, that drink looks cool. What are you drinking?”
“Oh, it’s called a Blue Motorcycle. It’s really good!”
“Mmmm. I bet it is…”

After making small talk with him and signing my bill, I turned to my right to finally look into his eyes and have a great conversation with him. Only, when I turned to talk to him, his eye wasn’t looking at me, but yet he was still talking to me. I shifted my vision from looking at his right eye to then looking at his left eye. His left eye was starkly piercing my eyes attentively as I was looking right at it. That’s when it struck me: my future ex-boyfriend was crossed-eyed. He later then caught on to me noticing he was cross-eyed because my eyes would keep changing line of focus from one eye to the next. He then got up and actually left the bar. He was so hot. Sad. Later on after walking to the car from the bar, my friend and I encountered a man who was sitting on railing and then fell flat on his face and ate concrete. My friend and I looked at each other and then around us to see if anyone was going to help, except there was literally no one around but us two and Humpty Dumpty. After realizing that we were the only ones who would have to help this man, we ran over to him to help his drunk ass up. After getting him up, we asked him where his friends were and if he had a cell phone. His response could only be reenacted by Chewbacca and Charlie Brown’s teacher. We soon then left him and let him continue to be a mess and proceeded to go home.

After waking up on Friday with a hangover only a masochist would love, I began to make plans for my night out on the town for that evening. Friday nights have always been my favorite night to party and since it was Saint Patrick’s Day weekend, nothing could top the drink specials. My group of friends made our way to our local bar and decided to ring in the weekend with a bang. This bar had the best drink special I had ever heard: $1 Drinks All-Night. After the bartender told me that, my world all of a sudden became brighter. You know those Claritin-D commercial where they all of a sudden see “Claritin clear”? That’s how it was for me after ordering drinks off a dollar menu. I became a drunk mess within the next hour. As I went to the bar for my 17th drink, the bartender told me he wasn’t serving me anymore. It was right then and there did I have sympathy for Lindsay Lohan because she has had that happen to her countless times and let me tell you something, being cut off from the bar is the worst buzz kill ever. I became furious and insinuated that he was racist, thus calling him a cunt. I walked away and then all of my worries disappeared when I heard the DJ playing “Macarena”. I lost my shit like it was 1996 all over again and twerked harder than Beyonce at The Super Bowl.

On Saturday, I slept throughout the whole day and woke up on Saint Patrick’s Day with my liver and I ready to take on the day. As my friends and I entered our favorite Irish pub, we encountered our friend throwing up his crab dip all over the booth where were about to sit. He had began drinking at 2 p.m. that day and it was currently 9 p.m. that night. Even though we started our Saint Patty’s celebration really late, our friend drank for us. He was spotted by a bouncer and escorted outside. I spotted an old friend of mine at the bar and went over to say hi to her. She and I then decided to do shots of Irish Car Bombs. After that, I slipped into a drunken haze where I ended up ordering two Screwdrivers, a glass of Pinot Grigio, a Natty Light (WTF?), and two Rum & Cokes. I was dancing with more girls than the straight guys and I feel as if the straight guys were applauding me for not being a so-called “pimp” but twerking harder and sexier than all of the girls at the pub. After hours of dancing and smoking cigarettes, I went over to the bar to order another Screwdriver. The bartender ended up giving me the drink for free cause I was hot. If only it was a male bartender. As I was sipping my drink, I turn around and see a a guy giving attitude to my friend. As I walked over there, she kept saying, “No, this is my coat. I don’t know where your coat is. Do you shop at Burberry? I don’t think so…” He then began to spew all this bullshit and saying “FUCK YOU SLUT! FUCK YOU AND YOUR CUNT ATTITUDE!” That’s when the inner diva came out in me and I went up to this big, strong, sexy, angry man and said “DON’T YOU EVER SAY THAT TO MY FRIEND YOU ASSHOLE. I WILL FUCKING TAKE YOU!” I immediately began to adjust my black suede heeled boots in order to fight when the bouncer came up to my hot enemy and took him outside. That was my first time ever getting into a bar skirmish with a straight man. I felt alive. Like any buzz, that alive feeling wore off as soon as I came home and crashed in my bed.

How was your Saint Patty’s Day celebrations? Actually, never mind, I’m exhausted…

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Ask The Gayly Dose – #1: eGrindr Mingle

Hi,

This bitch here ‘accidentally’ ended up in your blog after google-ing grindr dating. I met a guy there – on Grindr. I gave him my phone number so that we can “whatsapp” (One of the 5 DON’Ts in your blog…hahaha…wait…is it 5 or 8? hahaha). I kinda like him (that stranger in my real life) after chatting with him (like, only three days?). He knew that I’m a 100% bottom gay. I asked him out on Monday, saying that it is better to meet up before visualizing me as his ideal man. I don’t want him to have the feeling that what in front of him, which is me, after picturing how perfect I gonna be, is not who he think I am. He said “we are just friends. Why will I have this kind of feeling?” Is he trying to say that he’s not interested in me? Anyway, there is a date on Monday…gosh…what should I do besides remembering your 8 tips?

S*

Dear English As Your Second Language,

First, I have five, I repeat FIVE, “What Not To Do’s” on Grindr. Read it and comprehend it. But, you’re such a doll for asking me for advice so I won’t get started with you. Anyways, cunt, you can’t really like someone, especially on Grindr, after chatting for three days. Too soon to get into your feelings. Try and keep your heart away from Grindr. Grindr is to find relations not relationships. Remember that shit! Don’t confuse it for eHarmony or that godforsaken Christian Mingle. And he clearly just stated that you two are just friends. He doesn’t want a relationship. He’s plainly interested in fucking you. I’m assuming you must have a phenomenal ass which he cannot pass up. Fuck him and see if you guys connect and when I say “connect” I mean “click” not see if his dick is a perfect fit for your hole. Also, sorry for responding on Wednesday instead of Monday. I hope he didn’t steal your wallet. Let me know how your date went.

P.S. I suggest you get this before you venture out in the world of gay dating…

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , ,

My 5 “What NOT To Do” Things On Grindr

Everyone knows what joys can come out from being on Grindr. From the great phone sex to the amazing nude pictures and even to the great hookups, these are all advantages of having a Grindr account. Now, if you don’t know what Grindr is, you need to exit out of this website and only come back when you’re gay. Have you seen any of the X-Men movies? You remember Cerebro? And how Cerebro can track down any mutant by just putting on the helmet? Grindr is Cerebro for gays. If you haven’t seen any of the X-Men movies, just Google “Grindr” bitch. Grindr is always a fun time. When I’m bored and can’t fall asleep at midnight, I don’t curl up with a book. I log on to my Grindr and see who’s up for a little chit-chat and which closeted married man is ready for a raunchy S&M session with yours truly. Calling all John Travoltas and Tom Cruises!

grindraaron

As my years as an out and proud gay man progress, I have learned many things from the classy app of Grindr. The most important lessons I’ve learned are the ones that I will never want to repeat again as they are BIG mistakes. Luckily for you, if you take my advice, you won’t have to go through consequences like I did. To save you from great turmoil, I give you my 5 “What NOT To Do” Things On Grindr:

1. Don’t give out your phone number

BAAAAAAAAAD IDEA! I’m sure you’re probably thinking, “Duh! Why would anyone give out personal information?”, and you’re right. As for me, I thought that giving out my phone number wouldn’t be dangerous and probably would not end with me being in a body bag. Boy, was I wrong. I have given out my number numerous of times to random guys because I was logging off and I wanted to continue the conversation and nothing ever creepy had ever happened… Yet. One night, I decided to give my number out to this guy named Peter because we made a great connection which was backed by an extensive intellectual conversation. He was 45, filthy rich (Owned a fucking Lamborghini), and was married with a kid. I love a hot, rich, married daddy who wants to fuck. That is my dream fantasy. After signing off from Grindr, he calls me. I answer and we chat. I trusted him after talking for an hour or so and decided to drive to his house which was 15 minutes away. His wife and kid were away and we had GREAT sex. Like all of my Grindr hookups, after I finished cumming, I quickly got dressed and was headed out the door. As I slowly opened the door, I felt someone grab my arm. It was Peter. He, right then and there, professed his love for me. My hand was dialing 9-1-1 on my cell phone in my pocket. I told him that I was horny again and asked him freshen up in the bathroom while I was going to get in the bed so we could get ready for round two. As he went in the bathroom, I booked it to my car. Hell no was I ready to start a committed relationship with this guy. Now, he texts and calls me every week or so. This has been going on for three months. I tried to get a new number but then realized the hassle of telling all these people in my life my new number. He literally has told me that “I am his soulmate and he wants to have a deep relationship with me.” All this stalking and incessant texts/phone calls could have all been avoided if I just didn’t give him my phone number. Lesson learned. Stay on Grindr as long as you can. Only log off until you got the guy’s address and HIS phone number. Never give out your own, ask for his and then block your number when you call him to tell him that you’re outside. Got it?

2. Don’t send nude pictures to every guy who asks for them

I know, I know. Giving out your nude pictures is the reason why Grindr exists today. If you weren’t allowed to trade nudes, then you probably wouldn’t be on Grindr. I’m not saying to not do it, I’m just saying to not do it ALL THE TIME! I used to send out great dick pics coupled along with a sweet ass cheek, but not anymore. One time, I sent a picture of my naked body to a guy, let’s call him John, who messaged me asking for pictures. Turns out that John is friends with my friend named Troy and this guy is also my ex’s coworker. That cunt nugget showed my friend my naked picture and also showed my ex my naked picture. John knew that Troy and I were friends because he had seen me in pictures on Troy’s Instagram and thought it would be funny to show my friend. Asshole. But then, he didn’t know that he worked with my ex. So when he showed my ex my naked picture because he wanted to brag about my great naked picture, my ex told him that he dated me. The ex called me up all pissed off that I was whoring around with guys. You’re probably wondering why my ex would act like that but we can save that for my memoir. All in all: don’t send out your naked pics to every guy out there because since Grindr shows you guys who are local to you, you are bound to send those pictures to someone you have a connection to, unbeknownst to you .

3. Don’t talk to guys who are sketchy

See below (This is my actual personal Grindr conversation):

grindrriley

4. Don’t use any terms of endearment

Like every night, I was chatting with sexy dudes on Grindr. This guy started out the conversation saying, “Hey grasshopper”. I thought that would be a one time use of the word. No. He ended up saying, “Send me those dick pics, grasshopper” and “I want to suck your cock dry, grasshopper.” I told him that I was going to “hop” on over to a new guy because he was creepy by calling me “grasshopper”. I felt like I was in a nature porno flick or something like “Look at that grasshopper with it’s beautiful green texture. Can you see that? And take a look at that massive cock dripping with cum.” Who the fuck was I chatting with anyways? The gay ghost of Steve Irwin? Next, please.

5. Don’t be bitchy

I feel that this happens A LOT on Grindr. And this has happened to every gay. No matter how hot you are, there will always be someone hotter to turn you down. Trust me, I’m sexy as fuck – I would know. There’s nothing like a swift kick to the balls when a guy says “No” right after you say “Hey”. Ouch! Fellas, am I right? And I have also been that bitchy queen who has also wrote guys off because I knew I was hotter and could get away with it. It was also a confidence boost! But, that’s not right. When I turned 21, I realized that acting like a cunt didn’t make me anymore better than those twats who would write me off so quick. Therefore, I decided to always ignore. Ignoring someone isn’t bitchy when it’s done on cyberspace. Ignoring someone in reality is. But on Grindr, it’s not. Yeah, the guy might say, “Thanks for ignoring me” or “YOU ARE A FUCKING ASSHOLE FOR NOT RESPONDING BACK! BITCH ASS MOTHERFUCKER! I HOPE YOU’RE DEAD!”, but rest assure that you are saving this guy the humility of saying, “No thanks” and the time and effort to explain why you are not giving him the time. Just ignore.

Here are two other personal Grindr Fail moments:

2012-08-03_11-13-04

grindrcarlito

Send me some of your favorite Grindr Fail moments by taking a screen shot and sending them to gaymanproblems@yahoo.com and I’ll post them! Do it and I’ll love you forever. Okay, calm down, it was just an expression.

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , ,

Oscars 2013 Nominations: My Everything

Fuck the Superbowl. This is real competition. The complete list of the 2013 Academy Award Nominees has officially been released and I’m as happy as a fat queen during all-you-can-eat Sunday brunch. Between Les Miserables, Lincoln, and even Zero Dark Thirty, I don’t know which film I’m supporting. And you must pick a side otherwise you’re a bandwagon fuck. Also, I imagine Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackson getting into a hot shirtless straight man brawl over their nomination. But, seriously, that has to be the gayest fight  since Azealia Banks and Perez Hilton’s Twitter war.

Here’s the complete list of nominees a.k.a. Lincoln owns:

Best Motion Picture

Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo

Achievement in Directing

David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role

Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master

Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role

Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild

Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role

Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln

Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role

Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master

Best Animated Feature Film

Frankenweenie
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
ParaNorman
Brave

Original Screenplay

Flight, John Gatins
Zero Dark Thirty, Mark Boal
Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino
Amour, Michael Haneke
Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola

Adapted Screenplay

Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin
Argo, Chris Terrio
Lincoln, Tony Kushner
Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell
Life of Pi, David Magee

Best Foreign-Language Film

Amour (Austria)
No (Chile)
War Witch (Canada)
A Royal Affair (Den)
Kontiki (Norway)

Original Score

Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli
Argo, Alexandre Desplat
Life of Pi, Mychael Danna
Lincoln, John Williams
Skyfall, Thomas Newman

Original Song

“Before My Time,” J. Ralph; Chasing Ice
“Pi’s Lullaby,” Mychael Danna & Bombay Jayashri; Life of Pi
“Suddenly,” Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boulil; Les Misérables
“Everybody Needs a Best Friend,” Walter Murphy & Seth McFarlane; Ted
“Skyfall,” Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth; Skyfall

Achievement in Production Direction

Anna Karenina
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln

Achievement in Cinematography

Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey
Django Unchained, Robert Richardson
Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda
Lincoln, Janusz Kaminski
Skyfall, Roger Deakins

Achievement in Costume Design

Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables, Paco Delgado
Lincoln, Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood

Best Documentary Feature

5 Broken Cameras
The Gatekeepers
How to Survive a Plague
The Invisible War
Searching for a Sugar Man

Best Documentary Short Subject

Inocente
Kings Point
Mondays at Racine
Open Heart
Redemption

Achievement in Film Editing

Argo
Life of Pi
Lincoln,
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty

Achievement in Makeup & Hairstyling

Hitchcock
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables

Best Animated Short Film

Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head Over Heels
Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare”
Paperman

Best Live-Action Short Film

Asad
Buzkashi Boys
Curfew
Death of a Shadow
Henry

Achievement in Sound Editing

Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty

Achievement in Sound Mixing

Argo
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Skyfall

Achievement in Visual Effects

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Life of Pi
Marvel’s The Avengers
Prometheus
Snow White and the Huntsman

The 2013 Oscars| 85th Academy Awards will air Sunday, February 24.

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Welcome To The Gayborhood, Matt Dallas!

There’s is nothing that makes me smile from ear to ear than someone coming out of the closet. Well, there’s that one thing but I talk too much about threesomes. Anyways, Matt Dallas, or has-been Kyle XY star, has finally come out of the closet and he is still one hot piece of alien ass.

Dallas came out via Twitter on Sunday and also announced his engagement to his musician fiance Blue Hamilton. What a fucking douche of name, right? I am super thrilled that he finally come out because everyone know how hard it can be. Plus, his coming out has put him in the spotlight after about 7 years.

Screen shot 2013-01-10 at 1.19.08 AM

This really shows off how hot his fiance and his beautiful dog are. I mean that’s the first time I’ve seen two “hot dogs” in between a man’s legs. Dallas is one lucky dude. Woof woof, bitch!

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Going ‘Skin Deep’ With David Summers

All of my friends know that I have a thing for black men. Well, I guess I just have a thing for just men. But, whatever…

During the time I spent in my panic room in my NYC penthouse while the whole Hurricane Sandy shit was going on, I stumbled upon a new show: Skin Deep The Series. It’s been described as a Queer As Folk meets Noah’s Arc meets Crash. That, to me, says “FANTASTIC!”. Seriously, the preview to the ground-breaking show has my mouth dropped, my dick hard, and my mind racing with all the serious drama and hot guys on the show. Check out the preview below, fags.

The show’s story circulates around three gay black men and three gay white men all who have their own story line. Although the show has not been picked up by any channels or in production yet, it is most definitely innovative, smart, and super sexy plus being one of the most highly-anticipated gay series. With over 32,000 views on YouTube, the show has already garnered an outstanding following. Luckily, for all you homos, I got to speak with the Skin Deep The Series director himself, David Summers, who told me personally everything we, as the audience, need to know about the show.

The Gayly Dose: Why the name Skin Deep? What is the significance behind the title?
David Summers: We were struggling with the right name for months, then one day I saw it written down somewhere and it just popped out at me.  The show is more about race, culture and sexuality than it is about anything else. And since elements of the show will be about how we feel about people based on skin tone or culture, I thought Skin Deep was appropriate. However, I think the show will be taking us to what is skin deep and beyond. The gay community is the only minority group that has every other minority group within it. My hopes are that people will begin to identify everyone as part of an “us” and begin to include everyone.  Because if we truly united, then nothing could stop us.

TGD: What was the inspiration behind created this series?
DS: There are lots of steps that lead to it, but let me start with the fact that I am in an inter racial relationship for 13-years here in Atlanta. And for some reason people think it’s suppose to be the most difficult thing, But actually it is the easiest thing ever,  Race has little to no conflict in our relationship.  As far as the city  is concerned, if we want to go out for the night as an example, we have to decide if we want to go to a white club or a black club. So socially, for the most part, the gay community remains separated. In addition, other things that added to the inspiration over the years as an example, there would be black guys who would come up to me and say, “you’re with a black guy so I can ask you, how do I meet a white guy”. And white guys would ask me, “how do I meet a black guy, or how do  I get some black dick?” There isn’t an actual wall that divides us, but you can feel an energy in this city which makes it feel that way.

TGD: There are 6 characters: Rod, Whit, Paul, Lawrence, Tyrone, and Greggory. I know that Rod is the boxer, Tyrone is the boy whose mom gave him a condom in a bible, but what about the rest? Who are the other guys in related to the teaser video?
DS: The teaser only shows 3 characters, If we showed all 6 of the main characters the teaser would be too long.. The other 3 main characters are Paul, middle aged white male, is a private investigator and is hired mostly by straight women who want to have their husbands followed. Greg is a middle aged Black male works for AID Atlanta, is a grant writer for the organization, published author, and works with disadvantaged youth in the black community.  And Lawrence is a late twenties black male, comes from a wealthy family who suddenly finds he is fending for himself financially for the first time in his life. Each character has supporting characters within their story.  Best thing to do is go to the website to view all the other characters at www.skindeeptheseries.com  There is also a relationship involved that I can’t talk about because it may ruin the twist to the story line.

TGD: What made you decide to make the characters remain anonymous to one another in that they lead separate lives where none of them are intertwined or related at all?
DS: Because I wanted to break the formula of most other shows and do something different. Every show you can think of has a group of friends who all call each other all the time, or have lunch, or have sex, or they are one family, or groups of families, and all their lives are connected.  I wanted to have six different universes occurring all at the same time, and sometimes around the same subject matter.  So we can see how someone from different races or cultures may experience similar situations.  It may bring a different understanding of those who we usually find the most different from us.

TGD: How do the series Queer As Folk and Noah’s Arc and the movie, Crash, have any influence in the series?
DS: What I meant is that it’s combining all these worlds together and put it in a series. For Queer As Folk and Noah’s Arc, this is only a reference regarding race. An all black cast in Noah’s Arc, an all white cast in Queer As Folk, and Crash is the race and culture aspect of the show.

TGD: I saw in the teaser that one of the guys had “Lucky Boy” tattooed on his forearm. What does this mean?
DS: It was just coincidental. It was a pre existing tattoo on his forearm but we used it because it truly was representation to us that he really felt like the lucky boy.

TGD: Which of these character do you relate to the most?
DS: I’m glad you asked that question. In some form of fashion I relate to all of them. I am a 55-year-old white guy, but because of my extensive experience working in the African American community, I did find it easy  to write for Tyrone. Also with Chuck, my husband, and his family, I was aware of some things that most white guys would not be. Lawrence has some of the same youth experiences as I did, dealing with his sexuality, but I never experienced his wealth. I feel Greg because of his work with the youth. I had a theater company for 17 years that worked with kids predominately in the African American community. Paul, being a private investigator, one of his jobs is to observe people and I need to observe people to get my story. Whit was me 20 years ago when I first felt a strong attraction to darker-featured men. Rod I would say is the least similar to me, I am not a fighter at all rather a communicator.

TGD: There is a lot of issues about race and culture in this series. Why did you choose to tackle that? Do you believe that there is an issue of race in the gay subculture?
DS: Absolutely there is an issue of race in the gay community, and especially in Atlanta. I do feel that much of the issue is also around culture and many times people don’t know how to separate the two. When you see a white person, you automatically attach to them a perception of what white culture is to you. The same for any other race. It is something we are all attached to through the eyes of those who observe us. So, if a certain culture has a negative connotation to it from someones else’s perspective, we are already judged because of that culture the minute we walk in the door. And why in a minority group such as the gay community, we hold such prejudices against each other when we should actually be learning from our own suppression and moving in the opposite direction? I could go on and on about this, but I will leave it for the show.

TGD: Will there be more racial issues concerning other races such as Hispanics, Middle-eastern, or Asian?
DS: Yes, but I can’t say exactly when. But, at some point in the first season I expect to be introducing other characters from other ethnic groups. I will remain true to the demographics here in the city as well. From what I experience, the majority of the gay population comes from the Black and White community.

TGD: When will there be more episodes?
DS: I am in negotioations with a company in Hollywood right now who will be raising money to help get this production package as good and tight as it can be and in the hands of the right people. So, once its on TV and picked up by a network, that is when you will see more episodes.  If you want to help, please go to the website www.skindeeptheseries.com and leave a comment in the comment section. The more posts I get, the better it looks to the network. Also, if you’re interested in being an investor, this is the time to do it. For more information people can contact me at archproductions1@aol.com

For more information about the series, visit www.skindeeptheseries.com and be sure to donate, bitches!

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

5 Most Essential Gay Items for Hurricane Sandy

Hurricane Sandy is coming, my east coast gays. And she is pissed! Most of you fags are off school/work which means she’s not a complete cunt, but still a bitch nevertheless. And because this hurricane is coming our way, that means that your power will most definitely go out. How are you going to watch the new episode for The New Normal? Gurrrrrrrrrrrrrrl, I am furious cause this bitch also fucked my plans of fucking all these hot Grindr guys at 3:30 a.m. But, if I learned anything from my last encounter with a hurricane (and I’m not talking about the drink), it is to be prepared. So, for all you gays that are frantically wondering what you are going to do with no power for at least three days, I give you my “5 MOST Essential Gay Items for Hurricane Sandy”! Here they are:

1. Movies

Make sure your MacBook Pro is fully charged, bitches. Since the power is sure to go out, that means no WiFi which means, brace yourself, NO GAY PORN. Oh, the huMANity! To avoid jacking off to your ex-boyfriend’s abs and going down memory lane, be sure to have the best gay movies around you to keep you satisfied. My favorite three movies that give me all the pleasure I’ll need are Crazy Stupid Love, Brokeback Mountain, and, of course, Magic Mike. Crazy Stupid Love’s shirtless Ryan Gosling scene, Brokeback Mountain’s Heath Ledger and Jake Gyllenhaal’s sex scenes, and every scene from Magic Mike are what I only watch those three movies for. Just make sure you have a lot of tissues nearby.

2. Drugs/Alcohol

Seriously, you need that shit even when it’s bright and sunny outside. Now that the next couple of days will be like living in the 1800s, you need to have some guilty pleasures to help you remember your life is amazing and not dark like the room you’ll be sitting in. What better way to blackout in a blackout? DRUGS! I always keep an emergency pack of Marlboro Lights’s in my bedside table and a bottle of emergency Grey Goose in the trunk of my car. I, also, make sure I make a quick run to my drug dealer right before a hurricane to pick up some fresh pot. Whenever there’s a flash of lightening, I take a shot of vodka, and then whenever there’s a clap of thunder, I take a hit of grade-A weed from my bowl.

3. Lube

If you don’t already keep an extra bottle of lube in your bathroom, regardless of a storm, then you are just plain stupid. How else are you going to masturbate to your Magic Mike, Crazy Stupid Love, or Brokeback Mountain scenes? If you don’t have lube right now, go run to your nearest convenient store and get it. Now, bitch, NOW!

4. Fully-Charged iPod

I know you’ve listened to Lady Gaga’s Electric Chapel a million times already and what better way to explore some new great music than when you’re trapped in your home during a cunty hurricane? Make sure your iPod is currently charging and go and buy some great new albums that just dropped recently. My top 3 new albums for gays to listen to during your power outage and your high are as follows: Taylor Swift’s Red, Ellie Goulding’s Halcyon, and Iggy Azalea’s TRAPGOLD. Favorite song from Red is “22”, from Halcyon is “Figure 8”, and TRAPGOLD is “Demons”. Download Iggy Azalea’s album, TRAPGOLD, for free by clicking here.

5. Beauty/Spa Products

Now that you have like 2 days of total free time, what better way to spend it than keeping up with your manscaping? Some things that I always work on during a power outage are shave my pubes, wax my ass/asshole, trim my body hair, shape my facial hair, shave my unwanted facial hair, give myself a mani/pedi, avocado facial mask, and shape my eyebrows. These things are a must, especially before an all-night fuck session, so might as well get them all done and over with. Plus, the spa treatments are a great way to spoil yourself and enjoy what matters most in life – great skin!

Hope you all are going to stay safe during the storm. And to all my west coast gays who don’t have this problem of power outages and near-death experiences because of a hurricane named Sandy – FUCK Y’ALL!

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Top Gay Halloween Costumes for 2012

Halloween is most probably my favorite holiday of all. From the costumes to the drinking to the anonymous sex with the hot guy with abs dressed as a shirtless football player in the club’s bathroom stalls – everything is fabulous about Halloween. This year, Halloween is going to be extra fabulous cause the costumes are going to be ridiculous. There are so many costumes to choose from – and I’m not talking about one of those costumes that is basically a piece of string – I’m talking about those creative gays who wear something topical and outrageously funny which show them as being knowledgable in pop culture. Those other gay sluts who dress up as “Adam and Steve” are just good to look at or invite over for a casual threesome in the alley where the dumpsters are. For all you fags who don’t know what you’re going as yet for Halloween, you disgust me because this should be the event you plan your whole year around. But, don’t fret. I give you my top picks for the Best Gay Halloween Costumes in 2012!

Honey Boo Boo

For all you bears or just plan ol’ fatass gays, this costume is perfection. Nothing screams 2012 like Honey Boo Boo does. You better “redneckognize” that his costume will for sure help you win Best Costume at your local gay bar or gay club. Just be sure to say, “A dolla makes me holla!”, after you put those singles in that go-go boy’s underwear. Brownie points if you can work in a joint-costume with a fat fag hag and make her be Honey Boo Boo’s mother.

Paul Ryan

If you don’t know who this hot motherfucker is by now, then you should seriously go play in traffic. If there’s anything hot about the Republican party this year, aside from Mitt Romney’s sons, it’s most definitely Paul Ryan. the nominee of the Republican Party for Vice President. Just throw on your most glorious Gucci suit, Vuitton dress shoes, a red Prada tie and you’ve got yourself a winner. Except for the fact that Romney is going to lose because he’s a homophobic sexist who wants to take money from everyone – or as I’d like to call him: Satan. But anyways, regardless of what your stance in politics is, I want to see a hot Paul Ryan costume. All you daddies with hot bodies, this may be the only chance you get for scoring that prepubescent boy you’ve been eyeing on Grindr.

Whitney Houston

How will you know what costume to choose? Duh – be the ultimate diva, Whitney “Crack Is Wack” Houston. Get a crack pipe and learn how to say “Bobbaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy” because this costume idea is sure going to kill – no pun intended. Whitney Houston has to be one of the most iconic gay icons and what better way to honor her than to be her. I know some queens who already think they are her with their diva antics. All you have to do is wear a gown, get an awesome bronze “Bob” weave, and put your hand in people’s faces. Brownie points if you make a Zombie Whitney Houston cause you’re definitely going to get a blow job from me in the bathroom this year.

Selina Kyle

The Dark Knight Rises was the most highly-anticipated movie of the year. I have personally seen it three times. The first two times cause I love everything about Batman and the third time was to jack off to Christian Bale during that dungeon scene where he was working out. Trust me, if you haven’t seen it yet, see it for that sole reason. My fave part of the movie was also bad bitch Selina Kyle cause she’s purr-fection. I’ve always felt that Catwoman and I are kindred spirits. Both of us are sexy bitches who use whips and leather when we see a guy. Selina Kyle is for all you twinky boys who enjoy a walk on the wild side. All you have to do is wear a tight black patent leather bodysuit, enormous stilettos, and talk like you’ve got a dick shoved down your throat. But please, if you’re even a tiny bit fat, don’t wear this costume otherwise I’ll be tempted to call you Fatwoman instead of Catwoman – got it? Also, remember to swallow – Catwoman always drinks up cream to the very last drop. Me-owwwww!

Psy

What’s my favorite song from Psy? Obviously, it’s “Gangnam Style” cause that’s the only song that literally EVERYONE knows. Even that old guy who fucked me at the retirement home knows Psy. Psy is the biggest thing coming from Asia since kids learned how to sew for $1 a month. To get the perfect Psy costume, all you have to do is wear a suit, part your hair, wear sunglasses, and act like you’re riding a horse – or a guy – or whatever that makes you bounce up and down.

If none of these costumes seem to work for you, just go as this:

Just promise to me that you won’t go as someone sober. I can’t tolerate that shit.

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

Pretty Little Liars Halloween Episode Recap

Did any of you fags watch the new Halloween episode to Pretty Little Liars, last night? I did. And nothing goes better with Pretty Little Liars than a blow job from your Pretty Little Lying married neighbor. So, if you missed last nights episode, I’m here to cover everything that happened. Well, not everything cause I did cum at one point during my BJ/PLL screening and I tend to usually forget shit when I climax.

Anyways, here’s the skinny. Don’t read further if you don’t want to know the spoilers.

So, while I was getting head, I decided to turn on my TV cause it was that time again – PLL’s Halloween episode. The episode starts off with crazy bitch Mona singing some creep ass song while painting a paper fucking mache head in the dark like it’s all normal and shit. The lyrics the cunt sings are, “If you go down in the woods today, you’re sure of a big surprise, if you go down in the woods today, you’d better go in disguise, for everything that there ever was, will gather there for certain because today’s the day the teddybears have their picnic.” At first I thought this was a code that her and Hannah used but then realized “IYGDITWTYSOABSIYGDITWTYBGIDFETTEWWGTFCBTTDTTHTP” is not a word. Then she turns around in her chair and talks to that black hoodie bitch where Mona hands A what seems to be four nails and three pills which either means A is going to a gay club or that A is going to crucify some bitch while they’re high as shit. The scene ends and we see my four girls, Aria, Spencer, Hannah, and Emily walking along Rosewood’s suburban neighborhood. Hannah’s legs looked fucking emaciated and skinny which was so beautiful. Then they walk up to a house where a coffin it’s labeled “Alison DeLaurentis”. Then they say it’s Clifford Yerdley’s house who jumps out of the coffin while Emily’s dyke ass nears it. I love jerks and totally would’ve fucked him in that coffin.

The next scene is Spencer with Garrett and all I remember was saying, “Use less teeth you stupid bitch!” to my neighbor and that’s when Toby’s sexy ass walks in. Then Tobz asks Spencer all these questions like, “Why was he here?” and blah blah blah. Sort of sounded like my ex. Then they hug and Toby’s eyes become all evil and sexy. Then we catch up with Hannah blue-balling the fuck out of Caleb while they’re making out in some dentist’s office storage room. Seriously, why doesn’t she fuck him every time they’re alone. I think Emily isn’t the only lesbian on the show. Then we catch up with Aria and her grandpa – I mean boyfriend – Ezra where he tells Aria that he won’t be able to join in the Halloween festivities where they’re going on a Ghost Train Ride. Weird. When I was in high school, I got trashed and puked in my neighbor’s yard and not went to some gathering to go to some pussy-ass train.

When the night falls, the girls all get together to celebrate Gay Christmas. They’re all dressed as some Hollywood slut. Hannah was Marilyn Monroe, Aria was Dita Von Teese, Spencer was Vampire “Thinking Of You” Katy Perry, and Emily was a Slutty Cosmic Lana Del Rey. Then we see Noel Kahn make out with blind cunt Jenna after they tell Aria and Hannah that they’re taking a break from throwing their yearly Halloween party, which was hella awkward. After their makeout session, we see Hannah and Aria look away and spot that ghoulish mask (see picture below). “It’s just a costume, it doesn’t mean anything”, Aria says as she’s secretly pissing her pants because that mask looked like baby vampire. Then Noel pranks every one when he pretended to be choking on a peanut or something which the first homoerotic scene between Toby and Noel. Toby get’s behind Noel and performs the Heimlich or anal rape in my mind. Seriously, I almost came while my neighbor was still giving me head. Yeah, my neighbor has great stamina. Then Spencer’s stalker ass spots Jason and eye fucks the shit out of him cutting to us seeing what Hannah’s slutty mother is doing with her pastor boyfriend. Mind you, Hannah’s mom is dressed as a slutty nurse while handing out candy to kids.

Then the next 20 minutes was an Adam Lambert concert where we learned that Hannah can’t dance for shit. Seriously, there was so much Adam Lambert that I thought I switched to an American Idol rerun. Can someone say “marketing”?

Later, we see Spencer finally find Jason. That’s where I told my neighbor to slow it down while I was picturing me fucking Jason because I have a feeling that Jason’s a good, slow fuck in bed.

Cut to Adam Lambert still performing. Yes, still…

Then, we catch up with Hannah’s slut mom in her kitchen when some crazy little girl bitch dressed as a watered-down Marie Antoinette because she can’t find her mom. The girl says some creepy shit so Hannah’s mom is all like, “Fuck this shit, call your mom, you psycho…”

We then catch Adam Lambert trying to have a conversation with Aria. And by try, I mean REALLY try. Homo cannot act. When Adam asks Aria what her name was, the train becomes loud and he can’t hear her. So Aria writes her name along the condensation on the window train. Then some harlequin comes over to Aria’s drink and roofies it like some straight guy at a bar. Then we meet up with Paige eating out Emily’s pussy while there’s some shadow in the background watching them. Probably was some creepy guy who loves to watch lesbo porn. No big deal. Shit happens. Then, all of a sudden Spencer has managed to go the deserted part of the train (smart) where she gets attacked by that ghoulish masked person who happens to be Garrett.

Then Garrett talks to Spencer about what happened the night Alison disappeared. FLASHBACK: Apparently, Garrett and Jenna leave the room where Ian and Melissa were talking to go the back of the DeLaurentis’s house where they run into Alison. Then Jenna and Alison have the gayest fight ever where Garrett fake hits Alison with a field hockey stick. Jenna’s blind ass hears screams and a thud and then asks Garrett, “Is she dead” where clearly Alison isn’t. Then the flashback ends and that’s where Garrett proceeds to tell Spencer that he didn’t kill Alison but Jenna thinks he did. Then Spencer is all like, “Are you fucking kidding me with that piece of shit story?” Garrett tells her, “No bitch, there’s more…” FLASHBACK: Garrett apparently goes back to Alison’s “dead” body only to find her talking to Byron, Aria’s dad, and says to him, “You know what I’m capable of…” which sounds to me as if they’re in an S&M relationship. Hot. Flashback ends. Spencer goes to get Aria so that Garrett can say this to Aria. Spencer leaves Garrett like an idiot. While she’s searching for Aria with Hannah, they just find her purse on an empty seat. They both look up and see the window. Remember when Aria wrote her name on the condensation where she was to Ms. Lambert? Well now the “r”, “i”, and second “a” are swiped away on the window leaving just “A”. Spencer’s cell phone beeps and A texted saying, “Guess who’s not going to make it to the end of the line? -A” Then we see Aria with duct tape around her mouth in what seems to be a dark room while she’s panicking.

After, Spencer tells Emily and Hannah what Garrett said to her after they search everywhere for Aria. We then see that Aria’s in a crate. I laughed. Seriously, a fucking crate. LOL. Then we see the masked Caleb dancing with Hannah where Hannah looks over toward the punch table and sees Caleb drinking. She looks as the masked person and takes off the mask to only reveal a mask underneath that. But, for some reason the stupid blonde bitch doesn’t remove that mask and somehow the masked person runs away. I laughed even harder.

Now, we’re back to see what Hannah’s slut mom is up to. The bitch goes to the kitchen only to find that little blonde girl missing. Then she goes upstairs and hear’s something only to find the cunty little girl. Then the raspy bitch tells Hannah’s mom about her stupid sister and how they fight. Then Hannah’s mom touches the girl’s hand and sees that she’s ice cold. Then Hannah’s mom goes to get Ted, the pastor, to bring him up to the girl where they come to an empty bedroom with no girl. Typical.

Then, we see Spencer walking then getting attacked by the harlequin. Then the world’s biggest dyke, Paige, comes to rescue Spencer by fighting off the masked person like the tough lesbian she is, but somehow she gets thrown off. When the masked person runs away, Paige looks over to Spencer and shows that she found the masked person’s acrylic nail. I threw up a little. Who in this day and age wears acrylic anything? Yuck. Then Aria is in her crate (LOL) then turns over and sees a dead body which looks a lot like Garrett. Then Paige, Emily, Spencer, and Hannah go looking for Aria – yet again – but this time they find Aria’s necklace. Then it cuts to Aria struggling to get out of the crate but it sounds like she’s getting fucked by two black guys. Seriously, her moaning and whimpering was like an XTube pop-up ad. Then the girls find Aria’s and when they get her out of the crate, they all see Garrett’s dead body.

After, we cut back to Hannah’s slut nurse mom trying to explain to the pastor that she thinks that little cunty girl was a ghost. Then, they both take a sip out of their wine at the same time like weirdos. We then catch up with the girls and now the police have arrived and everyone is alright. Then Noel gets mad at the girls because they brought their drama to the train and that’s when Toby steps up to Noel’s face. Then the second homoerotic scene between Toby and Noel happens. As they’re about to kiss, Toby decides to push Noel into where the ice bin is and when the bin breaks, a funeral body bag is revealed. Could it be Alison’s missing body in that body bag? Finally, the episode ends with Mona in her psycho room and she’s smiling while she’s in bed. The camera pans lower and shows underneath her bed where there’s a mask – the same mask that Hannah tries to pull off of who she thought was Caleb back on the train. Shocker? Not really. And that’s where the episode ends.

Since the episode wasn’t all that, here’s something you can have after reading this long post:

And..

Oh yeah, I ended up cumming from my neighbor sucking me off only when the episode ended cause I immediately remembered Toby’s and Noel’s sex scene. Seriously, that episode had the worst cliffhanger.

What did you think of the episode? Comment me and let me know.

Smooches.

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,