Fuck the Superbowl. This is real competition. The complete list of the 2013 Academy Award Nominees has officially been released and I’m as happy as a fat queen during all-you-can-eat Sunday brunch. Between Les Miserables, Lincoln, and even Zero Dark Thirty, I don’t know which film I’m supporting. And you must pick a side otherwise you’re a bandwagon fuck. Also, I imagine Bradley Cooper and Hugh Jackson getting into a hot shirtless straight man brawl over their nomination. But, seriously, that has to be the gayest fight since Azealia Banks and Perez Hilton’s Twitter war.
Here’s the complete list of nominees a.k.a. Lincoln owns:
Best Motion Picture
Beasts of the Southern Wild
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Lincoln
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Amour
Django Unchained
Argo
Achievement in Directing
David O. Russell, Silver Linings Playbook
Ang Lee, Life of Pi
Steven Spielberg, Lincoln
Michael Haneke, Amour
Benh Zeitlin, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Performance by an Actor in a Leading Role
Daniel Day-Lewis, Lincoln
Denzel Washington, Flight
Hugh Jackman, Les Misérables
Bradley Cooper, Silver Linings Playbook
Joaquin Phoenix, The Master
Performance by an Actress in a Leading Role
Naomi Watts, The Impossible
Jessica Chastain, Zero Dark Thirty
Jennifer Lawrence, Silver Linings Playbook
Emmanuelle Riva, Amour
Quvenzhané Wallis, Beasts of the Southern Wild
Performance by an Actor in a Supporting Role
Christoph Waltz, Django Unchained
Phillip Seymour Hoffman, The Master
Robert De Niro, Silver Linings Playbook
Alan Arkin, Argo
Tommy Lee Jones, Lincoln
Performance by an Actress in a Supporting Role
Sally Field, Lincoln
Anne Hathaway, Les Miserables
Jacki Weaver, Silver Linings Playbook
Helen Hunt, The Sessions
Amy Adams, The Master
Best Animated Feature Film
Frankenweenie
The Pirates! Band of Misfits
Wreck-It Ralph
ParaNorman
Brave
Original Screenplay
Flight, John Gatins
Zero Dark Thirty, Mark Boal
Django Unchained, Quentin Tarantino
Amour, Michael Haneke
Moonrise Kingdom, Wes Anderson and Roman Coppola
Adapted Screenplay
Beasts of the Southern Wild, Lucy Alibar & Benh Zeitlin
Argo, Chris Terrio
Lincoln, Tony Kushner
Silver Linings Playbook, David O. Russell
Life of Pi, David Magee
Best Foreign-Language Film
Amour (Austria)
No (Chile)
War Witch (Canada)
A Royal Affair (Den)
Kontiki (Norway)
Original Score
Anna Karenina, Dario Marianelli
Argo, Alexandre Desplat
Life of Pi, Mychael Danna
Lincoln, John Williams
Skyfall, Thomas Newman
Original Song
“Before My Time,” J. Ralph; Chasing Ice
“Pi’s Lullaby,” Mychael Danna & Bombay Jayashri; Life of Pi
“Suddenly,” Claude-Michel Schönberg, Herbert Kretzmer and Alain Boulil; Les Misérables
“Everybody Needs a Best Friend,” Walter Murphy & Seth McFarlane; Ted
“Skyfall,” Adele Adkins & Paul Epworth; Skyfall
Achievement in Production Direction
Anna Karenina
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Achievement in Cinematography
Anna Karenina, Seamus McGarvey
Django Unchained, Robert Richardson
Life of Pi, Claudio Miranda
Lincoln, Janusz Kaminski
Skyfall, Roger Deakins
Achievement in Costume Design
Anna Karenina, Jacqueline Durran
Les Misérables, Paco Delgado
Lincoln, Joanna Johnston
Mirror Mirror, Eiko Ishioka
Snow White and the Huntsman, Colleen Atwood
Best Documentary Feature
5 Broken Cameras
The Gatekeepers
How to Survive a Plague
The Invisible War
Searching for a Sugar Man
Best Documentary Short Subject
Inocente
Kings Point
Mondays at Racine
Open Heart
Redemption
Achievement in Film Editing
Argo
Life of Pi
Lincoln,
Silver Linings Playbook
Zero Dark Thirty
Achievement in Makeup & Hairstyling
Hitchcock
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Les Misérables
Best Animated Short Film
Adam and Dog
Fresh Guacamole
Head Over Heels
Maggie Simpson in “The Longest Daycare”
Paperman
Best Live-Action Short Film
Asad
Buzkashi Boys
Curfew
Death of a Shadow
Henry
Achievement in Sound Editing
Argo
Django Unchained
Life of Pi
Skyfall
Zero Dark Thirty
Achievement in Sound Mixing
Argo
Les Misérables
Life of Pi
Lincoln
Skyfall
Achievement in Visual Effects
The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey
Life of Pi
Marvel’s The Avengers
Prometheus
Snow White and the Huntsman
The 2013 Oscars| 85th Academy Awards will air Sunday, February 24.
Smooches.
The Gayly Dose 